Young and Beautiful
by mysteriousMonarch
Summary: "Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful?" "And, darling, I will be loving you 'til we're 70." (Warning- this is a sadstuck)


"Will you still love me

When I'm no longer young and beautiful?

Will you still love me

When I got nothing but my aching soul?

I know you will, I know you will

I know that you will

Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful?"

\- _"Young and Beautiful" by Lana Del Rey_

"And, darling, I will be loving you 'til we're 70

And, baby, my heart could still fall as hard at 23

And I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways

Maybe just the touch of a hand

Well, me- I fall in love with you every single day

And I just wanna tell you I am"

- _"Thinking Out Loud" by Ed Sheeran_

* * *

Eridan awoke the same way he had for the past sixteen sweeps- in a tangled embrace with this matesprit. He watched Sollux breathe softly until finally his eyelids fluttered open to reveal his red and blue eyes. The two shared a gaze for a moment until Eridan's voice broke the comfortable silence.

"Tonight's the night isn't it?"

Sollux inhaled from his nose and slowly closed his eyes again. "Mmhmm." Eridan leaned in and placed cold kisses over the other troll's eyelids.

"Better start the night then," the Aquarius decided then stood from the recuperacoon. He scooped Sollux into his arms and carried the psionic into the ablution block with him for a bath to wash away the sopor slime. He washed the lower blooded troll with care as Sollux hummed contentedly.

Once dried, Eridan dressed himself in his Imperial Army General uniform and helped Sollux dress into some sweats. The two then moved to the meal block where Eridan set a bowl of Sollux's favorite cereal in front of him. He busied himself with preparing his usual two pieces of toast then sat down across from his matesprit and polished off his first piece of toast in no time.

"You haven't even touched your cereal, Sol. Eat," Eridan instructed.

"What does it matter?" Sollux retorted irritably.

"It's our routine," Eridan stated matter-of-factly and took a bite of his last piece of toast. Sollux snorted and played with the spoon in his cereal bowl. As Eridan finished his last bite he stood from the table quickly and grabbed his keys.

"I've got to go take care of things and report in," he said as he straightened out his uniform jacket. "Don't go anywhere while I'm away." Sollux rolled his eyes.

"Where in the hell would I go ED? I don't leave the hive." The violet blood's smile faltered and his eyes searched Sollux desperately.

"Fine," the Gemini sighed. "I promise I will be here when you come back." This seemed to appease Eridan a bit although he couldn't shake the anxious feeling that had settled over him.

"Good," he breathed. "I'll try not to be too long." Sollux let out a weak cough and Eridan pursed his lips. "I love you," he said in a serious tone.

"Love you too, fish dick."

 _They had met at a party a mutual friend was hosting. As adolescents they were both painfully socially awkward although for entirely different reasons. Eridan posessed an insufferable superiority complex and had a penchant for saying the wrong things when meeting new people. Sollux was a reclusive nerd that just didn't like socializing with other trolls in person._

 _Eridan had just struck out with trying to flirt with an attractive cerulean blood and resigned himself to wallflower status in a corner that Sollux had already set up camp in. The two made eye contact briefly before Sollux went back to watching the debauchery of his peers unfold while occasionally checking the boards for his current favorite online game on his phone. The violet blood couldn't deny that his interest was piqued by the scrawny four horned troll that stood just a few feet away from him._

 _"So what's your excuse for bein' over here alone?" the words had left his mouth before he could stop them. The scrawny stranger's fingers paused over the screen of his phone and he directed a bored look at him. He couldn't tell through the red and blue tinted glasses what Scrawny's eyes were looking at but after a moment his lifted the corner of his lips in an amused smirk and scoffed._

 _"None of your business, fish dick," the double horned troll replied before turning his attention back to his phone. It sounded as if Scrawny had a bit of a lisp. He must have noticed the fins on the sides of Eridan's face. They were a little hard to miss even in the dim lighting of the party._

 _"Is that really how you address your superiors?" Eridan questioned in distaste. This got Scrawny's attention again._

 _"I highly doubt you could ever be my superior," the stranger lisped back._

 _"Oh really?" Eridan challenged. "I don't see any fins on your fuckin' mug whereas I, as you so astutely pointed out, do. This tells me you couldn't possibly be higher'n me," he said smugly._

 _"You got me there," Scrawny said sarcastically then lowered his gaze back to his phone. "Care to explain what you're doing over here then if you're so damn important?" he asked in a bored tone that clearly indicated he couldn't care less about the answer. Eridan opened and closed his mouth to speak before closing it again and clenching his jaw._

 _"None a' your fuckin' business," Eridan settled on. This made Scrawny chuckle softly as he pretended to be more interested in his phone than the high blooded stranger next to him._

 _"Name's Sollux," Scrawny said off-handedly without looking up from his phone. Eridan eyed the lisping troll warily before offering his own name._

 _"Ampora. Eridan Ampora."_

 _Sollux looked up from his phone quickly and gasped. "Oh shit! Ampora! I had no idea." Eridan appeared pleased and adjusted his long striped scarf importantly._

 _"Well that's alright, it's a common mistake really."_

 _"I'm just messing with you," Sollux sniggered. "I don't have a clue who you are." Eridan hoped the dim lighting would hide the violent shade of violet his face turned._

 _"You're really a piece a' shit, you know that?"_

 _"I hope you buy my flowers if you're planning on flirting with me like that." Eridan stared at Sollux in disbelief and frustration. "My bees would love them," he added with an eyebrow waggle. Eridan had had about as much as he could take from this infuriating troll that he had just met._

 _"Tell me, Sol, what do you intend to do to serve the empire when it's time to choose?" Eridan demanded. He was sure that he would be able to trump whatever meager position someone as scrawny as Sollux would choose. The double horned troll couldn't help but laugh at the question._

 _"Intelligence," he answered confidently. "You're looking at the best hacker alive on this lousy rock."_

 _"Interestin' choice."_

 _"And what, praytell, will His Royal Fishface be choosing?"_

 _"I've already enlisted," Eridan said with pride. "I'm actually out on leave right now."_

 _"Why does that not surprise me? Another high blood wants to be a soldier," Sollux rolled his eyes._

 _"I'm not stopin' there," the violet blood added. "Someone as skilled as me is destined to play a part much greater than just a soldier. I'm not goin' to rest until I'm at the top."_

 _"Funny, you don't look like a Fuschia blood to me," Sollux said. Eridan had a glimmer to his not quite changed eyes that told of his passion._

 _"Not the Empress you twat," the Aquarius spat. ""The General of the Imperial Army. I will have every soldier under my command. My orders will come from the Empress herself."_

 _"Yeah," Sollux laughed. "Good luck with that." His phone was returned to his pocket and forgotten as he pushed himself off the wall behind him. He took Eridan's hand loosely in his own and began to lead him off towards one of the empty blocks in the noisy hive. "Come on, Soldier Boy."_

Trolls paused what they were doing to salute as Eridan walked down the hallway towards his office. He first stopped off at his secretary's desk.

"Lennox," he spoke sharply, switching into General of the Imperial Army mode.

"Sir!" the teal blood stood from his desk and saluted.

"Cancel all of my meetin's," Eridan ordered.

"Yes sir," Lennox replied slightly confused but knew better than to ask questions. The sea troll looked over his secretary as he began clearing the night's schedule.

"You're a good troll Lennox," Eridan commented. "I value that."

"Thank you, sir," Lennox said wide eyed. Eridan gave a curt nod then entered his office.

He closed the door behind him and took a deep breath as his eyes scanned the room. Medals and plaques hung on the walls. The shelves were stocked with the books he had studied when he was younger about great military heroes and battles. There were various photographs on display ranging from his graduation from the academy, to the ceremony in which he was awarded an honor for heroism in battle, and even a snapshot from his and Sollux's ten sweep anniversary party.

Eridan exhaled and moved to the small closet in the back corner of the room. He dug out an empty box and placed it on his elegantly carved wooden desk. He trailed his fingers over the frame of a picture that ws taken the night he was appointed General before picking it up and putting it in the box.

 _A couple of sweeps had gone by since Sollux's first encounter with the violet blooded sea troll who was so passionate about being a soldier. He had slipped away while Eridan had been in the ablution block without saying good bye. The hacker had never had any intention of getting involved with such a high blooded troll and thought it would make things easier for the both of them if he left it that way._

 _Sollux always did wonder what had become of him. He found himself thinking about it when a transmission came into his cubicle at the L314 space station. He adjusted his headset and entered a few lines of code into the computer in front of him to initiate the call log software before pressing the reciever._

 _"This is the Pacifica approaching station L314 and requesting permission to dock by orders of Captain Ampora."_

 _"This is station L314 operator 02216. Pacifica, I have recieved your request to dock. Please send a copy of you personnel files and an records of any cargo on board to frequency two for review." Sollux sat back in his seat as he watied for the files to be sent for him to look over. Once the file came onto his screen he quickly scanned it for viruses before opening it. He glanced through the pictures of the ship's crew but stopped on the photograph of the captain._

 _"Soldier boy?" he couldn't stop himself from blurting. The line went dead for a moment._

 _"Hacker guy?" came the Captain's incredulous response. Sollux felt a surger or excitement well up within him before he remembered the circumstances of this reunion._

 _"This transmission is recorded. Meet me in the food court tomorrow at lunch time," Sollux instructed. "Permission has been granted to dock, Captain Ampora. Welcome to space station L314," he smiled._

 _The next night Sollux sat at one of the tables in the food court anxiously waiting. He couldn't figure out why he was getting so worked up about a troll he met ages ago at a party and had a one night stand with but there was something about the sea dweller that he felt connected to. He finally spotted a handsome sea troll wearing a deep violet button down shirt which matched the violet streak in his hair approaching him. The yellow blood stood from his seat to wave the other troll down._

 _"Fancy meetin' you here," Eridan smirked as he took his seat._

 _"No kidding," Sollux agreed. "Captain Ampora," he added teasingly._

 _"I told you I was goin' to make it to the top," the violet blood reminded him. "My crew and I are on leave for the week while my ship undergoes some maintenance," he gestured to his civilian clothes. "No need to address me so formally." Sollux rolled his eyes. "What about you then? What's the planet's best hacker doin' here? You're a bit over qualified for this position aren't you?" Sollux chuckled lightly and shrugged._

 _"It's still a bit hard for someone with my blood color to really advance in any field even with Feferi as the Empress. Too many older trolls too set in their ways." The two remained silent as they both realized what exactly they were doing. Eridan knew that having someone so far down the hemospectrum on his arm wouldn't necessarily look good on his part. Sollux knew that was what position Eridan was in as well as the fact that he had purposefully avoided relationships with anyone higher than him because of life span differences. They also both realized that this meeting happened for a reason and it was too late to turn back._

 _"Do you think you'd have room in your schedule to show me around this hunk a' metal while I'm on leave?" Eridan asked casually._

 _"I'm pretty sure that could be arranged. The tour begins at my apartment though," Sollux grinned._

 _As the week progressed, it turned out to be the best week either troll had ever had. They spent a night at an arcade where Sollux completely owned Eridan at every game they played until Eridan suggested laser tag where Sollux didn't stand a chance. Eridan spent his days in Sollux's apartment sharing a recuperacoon with him. On Eridan's last day at the space station he insisted on taking Sollux to the nicest restaraunt on the station. The yellow blood had some difficulty dressing up but he was finally stuffed into a suit and seated across from Eridan between tow glasses of champagne._

 _"You really didn't have to take me here," Sollux grumbled._

 _"I know I didn't but we have some matters to discuss."_

 _"We do?" Sollux raised an eyebrow._

 _"I'm sure you can figure where this is goin'," the violet blood took a sip of his champagne but it appeared that Sollux had clamped his jaw shut. "I want for us to be matesprits."_

 _"And just how do you suppose that is going to work out?" the Gemini asked angrily. He hated how badly he wanted for it to work. "You're about to leave to pursue a fuck knows how long military career and I'm stuck here."_

 _"I don't know exactly how it's goin' to work," Eridan admitted. "All I know is that I can't not have you in my life anymore. If you could just wait for me I'll come back for you as soon as I can," he pleaded. Sollux bit his lip and shook his head._

 _"Do you realize how long that could be? It could be the blink of an eye for you but it could be ages for me. I'm not going to live as long as you, Eridan." Sollux closed his eyes and took a deep breath. His eyes shot open as Eridan's cold hand closed over his._

 _"I will make sure I come back for you as soon as possible and it will work out."_

Eridan held his box of belongings as he walked the familiar path through the palace to the throne room. He looked at the paintings that lined the walls as he walked. There were several art pieces of cuttle fish as well as a few portraits of the Empress Feferi. The walk to the throne room had never felt so long.

 _The day Sollux joined Eridan's crew on board the Pacifica felt surreal. Eridan had kept his promise of coming back for him but had also secured him a new position as navigation specialist on the ship. It was no secret that the new crew member was in a quadrant with the captain as Sollux slept in the captain's quarters._

 _One night while the two were settling in for the day Sollux was brushing his teeth in front of the mirror when he began really inspecting his face._

 _"Hey ED?" he called to his matesprit who was changing in the adjoining block._

 _"What?"_

 _"Will you still love me when I get all old and wrinkly?" the yellow blood asked as he took note of the fine lines that had formed on his forehead. Eridan entered the ablution block behind him._

 _"Well that's about the time I'll have to switch you out for a younger yellow blood," the sea troll joked and received a well aimed punch to the arm. "I'm kiddin'! Cod you don't need to get violent."_

 _"I'm being serious you ass. Will you still love me when I can't be your arm candy at your military events?" Eridan noticed how nervous the Gemini looked and the way he was chewing on his lip. He placed his hands on Sollux's shoulders and made sure the psionic made eye contact with him._

 _"I will love you always," he whispered. Sollux let out a breath and leaned in to capture the sea troll's lips in a kiss._

When Eridan finally reached the throne room he nodded curtly to the guards outside the door who immediately granted him access. The Empress was reviewing some paper work as he approached the throne and the guards beside her remained stoic as his footsteps echoed off the walls.

"Eridan?" the Empress asked in surprise when she looked up from her papers to see who her visitor was.

"Always forgettin' the formalities, Fef," Eridan rolled his eyes yet a small smirk was visible on his face.

"I don't have to be formal with my moirail, General Grumpygills," Feferi giggled lightly and the sound was like bubbles. She didn't look a day older than when they had been teenagers. Her cheeks were full and her eyes were sparkling with enthusiasm. Eridan was nearly in the same position with the exception of the long thin scars over his left eye. He like to believe he looked older than a mere adolescent in his thirty seven sweeps. He was suddenly saddened by the thought and cleared his throat uncomfortably.

"I did come here for business though, Fef."

The Empress set her paperwork aside and shifted on the throne to give her moirail her full attention.

"Shore, what is it?"

Time seemed to stand still around him as Eridan said the words he never thought he would say nineteen sweeps ago. "I am resignin' as General of the Imperial Army," he said with a nearly shaking breath. "Effective immediately."

"But why?" Feferi gasped, too stunned to voice anything else.

"I just can no longer perform the duties necessary for the position," he answered evasively.

"I don't understand," Feferi shook her head. "Eridan, this posistion is all you ever wanted. When we were guppies it's all you would ever glub about. You worked so hard to get to where you are now and you are amazing at it. How could you suddenly give it all up?"

"There's somethin' that matters more to me than all a' that," he fought to keep his voice steady.

"No," Feferi's eyes widened as realization set in. "Eridan no, there's so much more time-"

"I've made up my mind Fef. My resignation is final."

"Eridan, please," her voice wobbled weakly.

"Goodbye Fef," Eridan withheld the emotion from his face as he turned and left the throne room.

 _A feeling of unease settled over the crew of the Pacifica as they entered enemy territory. Alternia was at war with a nearby planet and the Empress had sent Captain Ampora and his crew along with a few other ships because they were the best the Alternian military had to offer._

 _Before anyone had a chance to realize what was happening, the ship shook in the aftershock of a blast that had hit the ship beside them. The Pacifica's impact warning alarm began to sound._

 _"They were using cloaking devices!" Sollux shouted as he watched numerous pin pricks representing enemy ships appear on the screen around him. "They outnumber our fleet," he reported apprehensively._

 _Eridan turned to a row of trolls that were seated at computers along one side of the control room. "Go prepare the weapons!" he barked. "Wait for the command."_

 _"We're in direct line of fire of two enemy ships," Sollux informed as he rapidly typed away to configure everyone's coordinates. He felt like this blood pusher was going to burst from his chest. He had navigated the ship through combat a couple of times before but never with this many enemy ships present._

 _"We're being fired at!" one of the crew members shouted frantically. Sollux spotted the missle and managed to pull the ship to a sharp angle to avoid direct impact but it wasn't enough to escape the hit altogether. The ship shook violently and the lights flickered briefly. The alarm continued to provide a background noise as the crew scrambled noisily to their stations._

 _"Sollux, get us in postion to return fire," Eridan commanded. The Gemini began immediately steering the ship into a better vantage point for firing weapons._

 _"Sir, I've just receieved a message from the Obsidian. The crew is evacuating due to their ship's unstable conditions. The Obsidian is about to blow," an olive blooded crew member informed. Sollux felt as if the blood had drained from his body._

 _"Eridan, the Obsidian is right next to us," the navigator's tongue felt thick in his mouth. The situation was much too dire for Eridan to scold his matesprit for being so informal with him while on the job._

 _"I've got another missile locked on radar approaching us!"_

 _"Shit!" Sollux cursed as he located the missile on his radar and shifted the course of the ship. As the ship evaded another direct his the Obsidian suddenly exploded. The Pacifica shook terribly from the resulting shock waves and was sent spiraling off course. The ship was filled with the screams of its crew members as they were tossed about helplessly. The lights flickered out and the dim back up flood lights helped Eridan find Sollux in the chaos. The violet blood threw himself over his matesprit's body just in time before a loose piece of equipment came crashing down over him cutting two gashes over his left eye with its sharp edges. He hissed in pain and felt Sollux shaking beneath him._

 _"Are you alright Sol?" Eridan asked worriedly as he wiped the streaming blood from his brow._

 _"Yeah I'm fine," Sollux repied shakily._

 _When the ship finally came to a rest everyone began getting back on their feet. Some trolls were injured while others were just highly shaken._

 _"Eridan!" Sollux gasped when he finally got a glimpse of the captain's face. "You're bleeding," he reached out and brushed his fingertips across the sea troll's forehead. Sollux always got an odd feeling whenever he actually saw Eridan's blood. It was a shocking reminder of how much higher on the spectrum Eridan was than him._

 _"I'll be fine. We need to see how much damage the ship has taken. We can't just abandon the mission if we are able to keep fightin'," Eridan helped Sollux to his feet and the two of them set about checking for damage._

 _"The ship's oxygen supply has been damaged," Sollux observed. "There's no way we can keep fighting."_

 _"Shit!" Eridan hissed angrily. He wiped more blood away from his face and walked over to a control panel. The leaned over to inspect the figures and gripped the edge of the panel._

 _"You need medical attention," Sollux said in a concerned tone. "That scrape's bleeding an awful lot."_

 _"How much oxygen do we have left?" Eridan asked, ignoring Sollux's worry._

 _"What do you mean? Why do-"_

 _"Just tell me how much is left," the captain demanded._

 _"Enough to get everyone evacuated to saftey," the yellow blood said sternly._

 _"Precisely how much?"_

 _Sollux sighed giving in. "About an hour and a half. Maybe two hours."_

 _"How far off course are we?"_

 _"What exactly are you planning?"_

 _Eridan straightened up from the control panel and turned around towards Sollux. The Gemini looked pale and frightened. He realized that given his current state and circumstances he probably wasn't doing much to make his matesprit feel at ease. He strode over to the other troll and wrapped his arms around him._

 _"If we can manage it, we're going to get in one good shot before gettin' the hell outta here," Eridan whispered into Sollux's hair. The yellow blood pulled back immediately._

 _"Are you fucking insane?" he asked fearfully. "We need to evacuate now and you need to get your head looked at!"_

 _Eridan kept his hands on Sollux's shoulders and looked him in the eye. "Just trust me okay? Do you love me?"_

 _"Always," Sollux replied breathlessly. Eridan smirked slyly._

 _"Then let's reposition to fire."_

Eridan returned to his and Sollux's hive with his box of belongings under his arm.

"I'm back!" he announced into the dark hive. Everything seemed so still and silent it sent a jolt of fear through Eridan's stomach. "Sollux?"

"I'm here," came Sollux's faint response from further back in the hive. "Fuck."

Eridan felt himself smile in relief as well as at Sollux's usual grumpy antics. He set the box down on the dining table and noticed Sollux's untouched cereal bowl still sitting there from earlier. He shook his head and placed the bowl in the meal block sink before making his way back to the respite block.

He found Sollux lying on the night bed disinterestedly watching some infomercial. The flickering of the television illuminated the yellow blood's pale wrinkled face. He took in a wheezing breath and let out a series of rasping coughs.

"You didn't eat your breakfast," Eridan scolded gently. He approached the bed and sat on the edge softly. He heard Sollux scoff under his breath.

"I told you it didn't matter," he said weakly. Eridan took one of Sollux's fragile hands in his. The skin seemed paper thin and was spotted with age. "How'd she take it?"

"Not well," the General tried to hide his frown. "I reckon it won't be very long before someone's payin' the hive a visit." Sollux let out a rattling breath.

"I guess that's a good thing," he moved his head to look over at his matesprit that sat beside him. He lifted his hand from Eridan's grasp and ran his fingers over the sea troll's smooth cool face tracing the lines of the scars over his eye. He dropped his hand and Eridan laced his fingers through it once more. "I'm just about ready."

Eridan bit his lip and leaned over to reach underneath the bed. He pulled out his old pistol and set it gently on his lap then turned to run his fingers through Sollux's hair the way that he liked. The Gemini's horns had gotten so tall whereas his own were still growing.

"Do you still love me?" Sollux asked with shallow breaths.

"Always," Eridan whispered back. Sollux's mouth twitched into a small smile and he allowed his dull red and blue eyes to close. Eridan ran his hand through the double horned troll's hair one more time before bringing his hand back down to the pistol in his lap. The moment he felt the hand in his own go limp and he no longer could hear Sollux's labored breaths he silently lifted the gun to his temple and pulled the trigger.

* * *

A/N: Disclaimer stating that I do not own the lyrics used in this story nor do I own the characters and all that fun stuff hooray


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